i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
handjob tips. give me some.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
