Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If that was your dad, he is hot
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
