u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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