that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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