nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize