Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
