Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
