What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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