They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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