My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
