I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
