I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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