Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize