I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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