i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
