I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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