names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
