Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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