what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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