just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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