Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize