wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
