am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
