the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
