pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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