i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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