I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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