What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
