So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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