also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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