Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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