Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
