I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
