my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
