Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
