It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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