it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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