Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
