In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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