i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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