Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just had sex on a roof
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
