The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
