Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
