my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
