when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize