But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
