Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
