p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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