Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
