I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
