So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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