He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
