Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
