dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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