Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
