gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
