$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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