Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
