OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
