Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
