sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
