After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
