How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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