Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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