she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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