so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
do herpes really smell.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
