im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
