i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
